Happy 10th Birthday

Ten years ago, on the day of 12th December an angel came in my life. As a family, we Balani’s were going through very difficult time. But this angel made it little easier. Till today she remains very easy going child and angel of us all.
From the time she was born, I literally cried every time when she cried till she turned almost five. Then one day she questioned me, “Why do you ask me not to cry when you yourself cry?”

That day I decided and worked on changing myself that I won’t do for anybody else. Unknowingly, she made me stronger. I don’t remember if I ever laughed heartily when she laughed, but for sure I always feel on the top of the world when her eyes smile and she knows that my action depicts it. She is my strength and I know I am hers.

At the tender age of four, she said something that touched my heart powerfully. My husband was out on business assignment. I was six months pregnant with my second child. In the evening, after work I picked her up from daycare. We entered home and I sat on sofa. I started crying (pregnancy mood swings). This little angel was only four years then. She sat by me and asked, “Mumma, what happened? Why are you crying?” 

I didn’t know how to explain her about my mood swing. So I hugged her tight and replied, “You know when I go out, how you miss me and cry, the exact same way I am missing my mom today.”
She immediately wiped my tears and said, “Don’t cry momma. Just for today, I will pretend to be your mom.”

Then she held my head, tried to bring it down in her lap. After that she asked me to put down my head in her lap and lie down. When I played along, she caressed my hairs as if she was my mom. That moment was so special. I will cherish it for lifetime. Not only this moment, but many other moments like this assure me that I am so blessed to have Bhumi as a daughter.
I can’t believe she is already 10. My darling, love you to pieces!

 

 

 

Silly Things, Give Kids Greatest Zing

I was going through my diary yesterday. I stumbled on this incident that I noted about a year ago, when we were in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Immediately I thought to blog it to have it in my records for ever, never know when I will lose that diary. Can't wait to watch my daughter’s expression after she reads this blog post.

A Year Ago

“What?” with wide open mouth, was my reaction when I looked at my daughter’s feet on one Tuesday morning. Each of her leg sporting different color and pattern socks very confidently.

“Are you sure? Your friends might laugh at you”, I asked. I wanted to confirm that she was 100% sure to do it. That way she would take the mocks sportingly, if at all, from her friends.

She shrugged her shoulder, twitched her lower lip, smiled and froze in the place with that gesture for few seconds. I had no other choice than smile in my mind.

I said, “Ok Ok.. hurry up now, wear your shoes,  otherwise you will miss the bus”.

As soon as she turned around to go to wear her shoes, I had wide smile on my face.

By the end of that week, all the girls of her class started wearing mismatched socks.

Do we realize, these small things, that we think are weird, give immense pleasure to kids?

About six years back, I wouldn’t have let her do that. Then I would have thought, “What will people say if they see she is wearing different color socks, not matching pant and top”.

But lately I have learned to let go of those things and realized that these small and silly things matter to kids a lot. It’s for them and not for us. 

Moreover, whenever my husband dresses them up, I have even stop thinking about getting embarrassed anymore, because mismatch of clothes is ought to happen. No kidding J

Silly things
Give kids greatest zing
Please, for once, let it spring
Then hear kids’ laugh like ting-a-ling

It Hurts

It hurts to know
He loves you only when you are submissive

It hurts to face the truth
He doesn't care when you get upset

It hurts to absorb
He is not by you when you are sad

It hurts more
Day by day

It hurts to accept
Nothing can be undone, nothing can be rolled back

It hurts to realize
He is not the one as you thought

It hurts even more to admit
You made a wrong decision

But if it hurts so much all the time
Why does your foolish mind still want to be with him?

What Kind of Memories You Want to Make?

Yesterday, Friday evening, perfect mood, I was cooking yummy food for kids and family as I have not done that in months. Everybody was in a good mood, planning to watch movie. The rules were stated very clearly, by dear hubby, about choosing the movie to watch. All of us agreed, but as expected, my 5 year old started throwing tantrums since his choice of movie didn’t get selected.

My son’s screaming and crying made its way to the peak. I tried to talk, didn’t work. Dad yelled back at him, got worst. Sister wanted to talk, he would not listen. At that very moment, the biggest dilemma that we were fighting was, sister didn’t want him to cry but at the same time we can’t pick his movie since he lost the voting and the toss. In addition to that, she didn’t want my husband or me to say anything to him. I am sure, most of the household go through these kinds of episodes every now and then.

At last, we said, “Go I-G-N-O-R-E rule”. We can’t say that word in front of my son, we have to spell it out; he doesn't know spelling of ignore yet, phew!

Amidst all this chaos, my daughter got very agitated and questioned,

“Why he is throwing tantrums? Why he has to do that all the time?”

Then she continued, “I never threw tantrum when I was a kid”.

“Dear, you did too!” I revealed for the first time.

All what was happening was overwhelming enough. So I decided to talk to her.

I said, “When you were of his age, you would become grumpy many times. Severity of your tantrums was only teensy-weensy less than what he is doing right now. Then I shared couple of the small incidents of her tantrums with her”.

“But mom, why did you never tell me that before?” she questioned with her eyes wide open in surprise.

My husband and I answered her question in another question, coincidentally at the same time, “What kind of memories you want to make?”

Then I continued, “In life, we will always face good and bad times, happy and sorrowful moments, fun and boring experiences. It is up to us what kind of memories we want to make. We chose to always remember good things that life brought to us with you. Those tantrums weigh too low compared to the joy that your smile and sweet talks brought in our world.”

Immediately, she gave dad and mom a big giant hug. Then we waited quietly for about 40 minutes till my son settled down.

After that we made one more happy memory with bunch of cuddles, kisses and by watching a movie based on a story that mommy read them a while ago.

What kind of memories you want to make?

International Women’s Day 2014 - inspiring change

Shout out to all beautiful women out there:
“Happy Women’s day to all of you! Not only on this day, but every day inspire a positive change within yourself and other women around you.”

I have been seeing many beautiful images, videos and messages, about women’s day, making rounds on Facebook. I am sure you must have seen it too. Who has been posting those? At least in my circle of friends, around 80% of those posts came from females and only 20% came from male friends. And how many of those males really mean it what they posted? I would guess, very few. How many of all the males around us treat women with respect and dignity?

• It is saddening to know that in many Indian liberal families, where both husband and wife are earning members, women still go through loads of verbal and in some cases physical abuse behind the closed doors. Women who don’t get to work, their sufferings are even more brutal, beyond imaginations in numerous cases.
• Working women have to work harder to juggle between family and work. On the other hand, in India, how much of a time one man spends on a household work? Any guesses? Mere 19 minutes a day, read TOI article on it.
• Even being in USA, I have come across chauvinist Asian men who disrespect and discriminate female co-workers.
• In this age and world, in many households in India, why still girls have to choose their career that would be best suited after marriage? Why can’t girls choose what they want to do, instead of what they should be doing?
• To date in India, there are numerous households where boys are raised in superior manner to a girl.
• To bring the complete change, each and every person will have to take a tiny bit responsibility. Yes, we are progressing, but that is not enough. The change has to happen at the root level first.
• Every parent has to teach their kids and moreover set an example for their boys to treat women with respect and dignity. It has to start at home, that we are still lacking in major amount.
• At the tender age, a boy needs to learn that it is not OK to hit her sister. Only teaching wouldn’t help. Setting an example by his dad, uncles and granddads would help; otherwise no matter how much mom teaches a boy to be respectful of his sister and other women, he could very well follow footsteps of his dad.

I am sure there are many other points that I could pen down that need change.

But call out to all men out there:

“Losing it is easy. Holding it back, being nice and respectful to others is harder. That is where true person’s strength lies. That is the change we need to see from you to make world the beautiful place to live for your sisters, daughters, wives, mothers and every other woman.”

Now coming back to my women friends, do you realize that, in many cases, men get encouraged for disrespectful, abusing and discriminating behavior, they indulge in, by women hiding what happens with them behind the closed doors of home or office. This is the sincere request to all women:

• Don’t tolerate it to get to the worst. Oppose it at the start.
• Come out, speak about it.
• Seek out for help.
• Hiding those problems won’t give any resolution, but definitely could make things worse.
• Inspire yourself to stay strong and fight against it.

Always remind yourself of following lines
“There's only one very good life and that's the life you know you want and you make it yourself.” --Diana Vreeland

Linking it to Write Tribe Festival of Words – International Women’s Day 2014

Complain about Her or Leisure Time?

Of course, even after decade of marriage and two kids

His heart melts at her glimpse in leisure time

His heart skips a beat with her laugh in leisure time

He easily gets lost in her gleaming eyes in leisure time

Unfortunately, leisure time is no near them for years

Who should he complain about?

Linking it to Write Tribe Festival of Words: 55 Fiction

My Inspiration to become Stronger Person

An inspiration comes to one from many walks of life. I am no different than others in that regard. Time to time, many people have inspired me in different aspects of life. Different quotes, books even nature has inspired me a lot. I have few stories to share about my inspiration. But today I would like to share a unique experience with you all. Somebody’s words made me change myself a lot, when I say a lot I mean it.

I am very sensitive by nature. I used to cry for very small things especially things that put pressure on my mind and heart, may it be exam that I was not prepared for, way too extra workload, heated argument with someone close to me or I am being unhappy in order to make everybody else around me happy. (Please click here to know more about highly sensitive people, very nice article written by Amanda L. Chan)

Growing up, nobody taught me how to deal with that sensitivity. As I started going to middle school mom would scold if I would cry. To avoid getting scolded, I started weeping in alone. I mastered it pretty soon. I would go to toilet and let it out. Sometimes I would lock myself in a room with an excuse of studies and sob for hours. To my surprise, it was getting worse day by day.

After finishing up my college, I got married to this wonderful man who turned into my best friend. When I would start crying, he would never stop me. He would always give me his listening ears and shoulder to cry. He would let me cry for little while. Then he would start telling me funny stories to make me laugh. He would make funny gestures just to lighten me up.

Once that cry phase was done I would be very happy, giggly and normal as if I am the happiest girl on the earth, as if all my sorrows and worries melted down with my tears. How long that cry would last? Any guesses? You never know from 15 minutes to few days, it was variable.

But my husband was always patient when it came to my crying. Sometimes when he was frustrated, he would say “Your soft and sensitive heart is a beautiful thing you have. Don’t let anyone hurt you just like. Even if you get hurt, don’t just let that hurt out in tears. Utilize that hurt to ignite your motivations.” I understood what all he said. It all made sense. But I didn't know how to work on it, what to do with it.

Then one beautiful angel came in our life. We were blessed with our first child, our daughter. Our world changed completely, but my crying habit didn't change at all. It turned out that my daughter was very sensitive girl too. She too would cry on all small to big things possible. Hugs, kisses or anything else for that matter wouldn't work.

Mother’s heart couldn't tolerate her kid crying. It was painful for me to see her cry. I would let her for little while and if she wouldn't stop I would tell her, “Please don’t cry. You are so precious to me. If you cry, I get hurt. Please don’t.” That would make her agitated and things used to get worse.

One day similar kind of episode was happening. Amidst that storm when I asked her to stop crying, then 5 year old girl didn't stop her tears; instead she asked me a question, “Mommy, if you cry so much. Why do you ask me to not cry? ”

That one question inspired me to work on changing my habit of twenty seven years. Before getting the feel of inspiration, I went through a lot of emotional turmoil. 

• I went through rounds of guilt that I am setting a bad example for my daughter.
• Then next came realization of I need to work on it for my kids, no matter what it takes.
• After realization, came urge to look out for ways to work on changing the habit of crying. In order to get my ducks in a row, I reached out to dear hubby. He helped me to work on it. That process was difficult but his help made it easier.
• Last came the inspiration, as I saw great results in terms of my daughter’s way of handling sensitivity in response to my small improvements on crying habit.

In last four years, every day I worked on handling my sensitive heart in better way. As a result of which I feel at peace better than ever before.

Oh, one more thing, her inspiring me didn't stop at that one question. In last one year, every now and then I have heard she commanding it to her dad like a big girl, “Dad, you have to learn from mommy how to be patient. Look at her; she is always very patient with us for first 5 to 7 times before getting mad. You need to work on that.” Those words inspire me even more to become stronger and better person every passing minute.

What a joy!

This was written for Write Tribe's Festival of Words: An Inspiring Story

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini

Title: A Thousand Splendid Suns
Author: Khaled Hosseini
Published: May 22, 2007
ISBN: 978-1594489501
Number of Pages: 372
Price (USD): $25.95
Genre: Fiction

A Thousand Splendid Suns is a splendid soulful read. It is an incredible, heart-wrenching story of Afghan history, unyielding love, faith and especially sisterhood. 

The story revolves around Mariam and Laila, two female protagonist who are born generations apart. Story is divided into four parts, with a focus on Mariam in the first part, continuing with Laila in the second and fourth, and the relationship between the two women in the third part.

Mariam and Laila are brought up in very different set up.

Mariam was illegitimate child. She lived in outskirts of Herat with her embittered mother.

Laila was an apple of her dad’s eye. Growing up in Kabul, she was close friends with a boy living in her neighborhood. They eventually developed a romantic relationship despite being aware of the social boundaries between men and women in Afghan society. But the war took everything away from Laila.

Mariam and Laila were brought together by war, loss and fate. Laila was taken in by Mariam’s husband, Rasheed. First Mariam envied and disliked Laila as she noticed Laila being treated as queen of the house by her husband. But eventually, as time passed, unusual circumstances brought them closer. They both became best friends. They shared the bond of the sisterhood as you might have not heard before.

I loved the book so much that I would love to read it one more time if time permits.

1. Once you start reading this book, you won't want to put it down
2. Not a light reading at all
3. A lot of violence and heavy reading
4. Superbly written

• While reading this whole book there were moments when I cried (a real cry) reading about the way women in Afghan were treated by men like Rasheed. As mush as I felt sad for those women, I felt even more thankful about the life that I get to live and enjoy.

• It moved me knowing that even in male dominated Afghan, nice men like Laila’s dad existed. Laila’s dad said to her, “‎I know you're still young but I want you to understand and learn this now. Marriage can wait, education cannot. You're a very bright girl. Truly you are. You can be anything you want Laila. I know this about you. And I also know that when this war is over Afghanistan is going to need you as much as its men maybe even more. Because a society has no chance of success if its women are uneducated Laila. No chance.” I loved the father-daughter relationship Laila and her father shared. In spite of all odds of society, her father always supported her, encouraged her to study. At the end of the book, after many years of her father’s loss, when war was finished, Laila came forward and gave it for the community, for the orphanage, as a tribute to wonderful parents that she had.

• I was also touched by the part of the book where Laila’s love comes back in her life and he accepts her happily irrespective of she already being married to Rasheed and being mother of his child. Khaled Hosseini nailed it. This is only possible by unyielding, indestructible and true love that they both shared.

• Last, but not the least, the sacrifice that Mariam made for Laila and her kids was unbeatable. Even though life had always been unkind to Mariam, she didn’t shy away from being kind to Laila. Laila and her kids became Mariam’s family and life. Mariam took care of Laila like mother when it came to protecting her. She became Laila’s friend when it came to confiding in each other. The bond that these women built over the cup of tea and Halwa was amazing. Their relationship depicts perfect example of sisterhood that doesn't rely on age or blood relationship. Being kind and compassionate, that is all it matters at the end. 

If you have not read this book, please read it. Trust me you won’t be disappointed.

Linking it to Festival of Words : Book Review

Remember the Day's Blessings and Forget the Day's Troubles

I sat in my office room, in front of my big 21 inch screen, legs criss-crossed on chair, very relaxed, staring at a clock ticking very fast and loud and I am thinking about the whole day. In spite of a very stressful day at work, I was feeling happy. 

Reached home quite late, but I was so delighted to rejoice with kids and dear hubby. I played Monopoly with kids with add on treat of hugs and kisses. That is how I forgot about trouble the day brought with it at work. Immediately a quote, that I read somewhere, flashed in my brain

A good memory is one that can remember the day's blessings and forget the day's troubles.

How true I thought!

I was hardly done typing till this point for today’s prompt. Then I hear crying noise from my daughter’s room. Breaking my train of thoughts, I ran to her. In back of my mind, I am thinking I might not be able to finish today’s post because once she wakes up crying it takes hours to calm her down. Her neck was paining. After that I spent almost one hour making her relax.

I started off with some gentle neck relaxation exercises, some cuddles and kisses. Nothing worked. I explained her many things just to stop her crying, to sooth her to no avail.

When kids are younger and if they are crying too much, some distraction helps them to stop crying. But as they grow, it becomes one daunting task for parents.

At last, I took her to bed, tapped her head for about 35 minutes, telling her stories. I started with funny story to get her laughing so that she let go of her cry. Phew! That worked. Half marathon done!

Then I narrated her very soulful story of a mom and her son. I narrated her many small conversations that they used to have. I also mentioned some of the special things what mommy taught him. The best of all, I mentioned as his mom said, “No matter what, listen to your heart and be happy.” And then I told her how the son taught that one thing to his wife as well. Her eyes instantly popped opened and pointing at me she said, “I know who it is. Is it about how dad taught you to be always happy by listening to your heart?”

By this time she was very calm. Then I told her I want you to be happy, always. I mentioned to her if you think about happy thoughts while sleeping, you will get the best sleep of the world. By now, her eyes closed, smile touching her lips and face had blissful glow. She went to deep sleep in few minutes.

Her happy face and smiling lips are my day’s blessings.

What are your day’s blessings?

Wrote this as a part of Festival of Words: Free Write

Blog Love

I have been reading and enjoying many blogs as a silent reader for few years now. I have subscribed to those blogs to receive emails. My morning starts with reading posts from those blogs.

Thanks to Corinee Rodrigues for her encouraging words on spreading the blog love in her post Festival of Words – Blog Love, I have decided to get more active in adding bloggers in my circle, following them and commenting on their posts.

Today being 3^rd of March, I picked magic number 3 to showcase 3 blogs that I like:

Mommy Labs

This blog gives a peek into Rashmie’s passion about making learning fun, passionate, playful and creative for her daughter. I admire her passion, curiosity and interest for learning. The approach that she has taken to homeschool her daughter is amazing. One of my absolute favorite areas from this blog is how she is inspired by the nature for her art work. The way, she utilizes Zentagle in her art work to marry nature with Indian culture, is awestruck. I absolutely love it. Sometimes, I wish I had courage to drop everything I am doing, follow my heart and spend the entire life only for kids. Kudos to Rashmie.

Much love! Preeti Shenoy

I have read few of her books and have also subscribed to her blog to receive emails. I have been passively reading her blog for few years now. I love her writing style. I can completely relate to each and every post of hers. Every time I read her post, I instantly say to myself, “This is what my take would be as well”. Reading her always feels like home. I am sure you would like it too. 

A Rose Is A Rose Is A Rose!

Couple months back; I came across Shilpa’s blog through one of my college mates. Most of her posts that I have read are fascinating. My absolute favorite on this blog is fictional stories that get posted every so often as a part of one of the writing prompts. Shilpa Garg is awesome at portraying her fictional characters, spot on. I have enjoyed reading all her fictional characters.

Everyone says you fall in love only once. But that is not true, because every time I read these blogs I fall in love with them all over again.

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words

The Theme for today is 'Blog Love'

The Shattering Loss

It was very devastating the way that beautiful relationship between the two sisters ended.
Jiya even didn't get chance to utter a good-bye or hug Riya for a last time.
These two sisters were the alter ego of each other, the best friends.
They kept no secrets between them and enjoyed every moment of life together until one fatal day Riya died from brutal car accident.

Since then Jiya cried each night, burying her face in the pillow.
Slowly, the tears dried off and crying morphed into the worst kind where she couldn't sob loudly, tears would not roll down her cheeks, but her throat hurt dry and sad.

Decades later, Jiya has started looking for her sister in people around her.
Very little she knows that there is always only one person on the earth of its own kind.

Her broken and aching heart is not ready yet to accept the shattering loss of her twin sister.

I am taking part in The Write Tribe Festival of Words

The Theme for today is a 9 Sentence Story

Expectation – like a Termite

One of my very good college friends used to be very introvert and quiet kind of person. He would come across as a very mature person for his age then. He used to be in his little shell all the time, doing great things that he wanted to do very quietly, not worrying about people around him.

Even if people would give him hard time, he wouldn’t say anything. He would ignore them and move on happily. If it’s his birthday, he won’t care whether anybody would wish him or not. He would even forget to wish you on your birthday. If he wishes you - you are lucky, he would not bring any gifts and the list goes on. But, yes, if you ask him for help, he would be the one who is always ready, always there for you, by your side. That was the best part of his friendship.

He would never share how he feels about something that is going on around him. At times, I would think I don’t know him. But I will always share all my worries and happy thoughts with him. Many times I would share with him incidents that I hid deep down in my heart. While reciting those happenings to him, I would cry. He would not interrupt me a word, he would not tell me that it’s OK, things will be fine. He would let me cry as much as I wanted. He would hear me out and would say only one thing at the end, “That is why I say never expect anything from anyone, and then you will never be disappointed.”

Thirteen years back, I couldn’t be like him, no matter how hard I tried.  It bothered me what other people said especially if they said or did something that was not according to my expectations.

First few times when I heard it from him, my eyes were wide open, the tears stopped rolling down and I wondered, “What is he saying? I don’t get it.”

Almost a decade later, after getting hurt million times, shedding God knows how many tears, at times screaming and yelling in loneliness, I have realized that my friend was so right. Whenever I expected something from someone it always ended up disappointing me. I was the one who was hurt the most. Person at the other end never cared so much. If I was disappointed, I couldn’t speak up about it. I ended up screaming at beloved people in my life including my mom, husband (the most) and kids sometimes.

I feel expectation is like termite. How termite has wood-eating habits that damages any wooden furniture it lays its hands on. In similar ways, the expectation has peace-eating habits that in turn spoils and damages your relationships. I don’t want my peace of mind be eaten by stupid expectation. I have taught myself to not to expect from anyone as much as possible.

It was not easy. It cost me many sleepless nights, countless number of tears, racing heart, screaming and yelling vocal cord, some fights with people around me, some fights with myself and many years.

But finally, I am on my way to not to expect. I am not 100% there yet, but I feel it is close enough. Every time I see myself making U-turn from it, I remind myself of the verse in Bhagawad Gita

Karmanye Vadhikaraste, Ma phaleshou kada chana 

It means you have the right to perform your actions, but you are not entitled to the fruits of the actions. In other words don’t expect anything just keep performing your actions.

Magic Hug

Yesterday morning, my 5 year old woke up with a sad face and expressed, “Mommy, I feel so nervous”.

“Why, Shona”, I asked in baby voice.

“I don’t know mommy”, he said.

Instantly, I picked him up in my lap and said, “You know what, mommy knows how to make you feel better.”

I took him in my lap. I hugged and cuddled him very tight, as if, to never let him go. By this time he had started saying, “Mommy, you are choking me. My neck hurts”.

Then I said, “This is mommy’s hug. That would spell its magic and you would feel so fresh”.

I saw a smile was making its way on his face. Then I landed few kisses on him and asked him to hug me tight in return.

A few moments later, he was all happy and merry. He jumped out of the bed with gleaming eyes and said, “Mommy, you were right. You really have magic hug. Where did you get it from?”

“It’s magic, every mom has it”, that's all I said

Research shows that hugging is extremely effective at healing sickness, disease, loneliness, depression, anxiety and stress. Hugs can boost the oxytocin level, which heals loneliness, isolation, and anger. Also the more you give, the more you get it back J

My weekend started with giving a magic hug and I want to end it by giving a magic hug as well.

So here is a big magic hug to all my favorite peeps out there.

Change could be exciting, but it brings pain as well

We have all heard of the quote over and again, “The Only Thing That Is Constant in Life Is Change”. Each and everybody of us go through change almost every day. But the everyday changes are not that significant to affect us or obvious to notice. Then there are events in life that bring significant changes like new job, marriage, kids, divorce and relocating to new place etc.

These significant changes could be very exciting but not to forget could be laced with pain as well. No pain, no gain.

Each change brings anxiety, uneasiness and awkwardness with it. Why all these things happen with change?

Because change brings fear with it; the fear that could eat you, fear that could kill you and your relationships slowly and steadily. The worst part when fear dwells in even before we get into the change. If we learn to cope up with that fear, the same change could bring the success, happiness and more fun.

So how do we cope up with the fear of change?

I feel there is no one formula to cope up with fear of change. Every person has its own way to handle it. Here is my way:

1. Make peace with the change instead of fighting with it. Believe me this is not easy to do, sometimes it happens faster than other times, but works wonders once peace is attained.
2. Breathe through the fear. When I say it, I literally mean it. When under fear, I say my prayers to distract my mind from it and it works.
3. Find the attitude booster. Think about the changes you have gone through in the past and the positive outcomes that you achieved from it.

In spite of finding and following your formula, you might still go through fear episodes, but the frequency and severity will definitely be less and the phase shall pass faster.

So poke that naughty fear aside and embrace the change. Then you will find change exciting and not painful anymore.

Bring it, it’s free…

After living in Michigan for 10 years, we recently moved to Jacksonville, FL. Since the move the first four weeks, I hardly got to go out and meet people. All I did was unpack, unpack and unpack some more. In short, in those four weeks I didn't get to interact much with people other than my family. No matter how much I love to interact with my dear hubby, it was the time to see some other faces J

So I found myself a new work assignment. I was excited to start working again and see new faces. But at my workplace, I saw a strange behavior. No one smiled.

First I thought, “I am new so people don't want to smile back at me”. Gradually as few weeks passed by and nothing changed, I started thinking, “May be this is Florida thing.” “May be people in Florida are not as welcoming as folks back in Michigan; they don't reply back your smile” But that turned out wrong too since few of them started to smile back at me.

Now my restless mind wanted to find out the real reason why these other folks  do not smile at all. I kept looking for unsaid clues. Eventually, I noticed a strange phenomenon. Most of the folks in leadership at my workplace never smile. Could that be the reason why most of my coworkers don’t smile either? May be, the leadership team passes down the scowled look to their dearest employees. And in turn...nobody smiles (well, except a few).

When I look at these leadership folks and think about they not smiling, even when you crack a joke (yes one time I cracked a joke in front of one of the leadership members and he didn’t have a slight curve on his face). I feel sad for these members.  Most of them are in their late thirties and early forties. I am sure they have tons of reasons to smile, that is if they think about it...beautiful family, kids (seen pictures in their cubicles), lucrative pay and I am sure many other perks. But, it seems like the stress of the job is taking a toll on them.

People who are under stress need a chuckle more than anybody else. Ironically, they are the ones who don’t laugh. Most of us lose that laughing kid in us with responsibilities. But we must take a time to bring that kid in us back, every once in a while. Work is never ending and so is the stress in life. We can reduce this stress by talking to people around us, by smiling at others, by having that one care free chuckle that will make you forget worries of the day.

“Is it that hard to smile?” I ask. Come on people, bring it on, it’s free…and offers loads of benefits!!

Remember Charlie Chaplin - "Smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through for you."

Mom’s Invisible Eyes

It’s surprising how easily kids get amused by explanation of some things they get from adults.

Many times my kids ask me some questions for which I don’t really have answers, or in some cases I don’t want them to know the real answer that soon in their life, may be not appropriate for their age. In these kind of situation, I have noticed, most of the time unknowingly I give them funny answers. These funny answers trick them so much that their focus shifts from question (that they asked) to the answer immediately. Then they remember it forever.

Once, me and my daughter, only two of us were at home. I was cooking and my daughter was eating Chapati with curry. She was eating and watching TV. Both of our backs were facing each other’s. She was lill over 5 then. She hardly ate Chapati and curry herself (if it pizza, burger, she would eat herself without any help), on the top of that TV was on. 

Without going to her and without turning around, I just said, “Eat your food”.

She replied back instantly taking a bite, “I am”.

“I know you just took a bite now. You were not eating before.”

As soon as I said it, she came running to me, with her eyes wide open as if those eyes were very curious to know something and said to me, “Mommy, how did you know that I was not eating before? You didn't turn around to see”.

I instantly replied, “I have 2 eyes on the back side of my head, hidden in my hairs.”

“Wow, mom you are lucky to have it. Can I see it please?”

“Sweetie, nobody can see those eyes. God gave those invisible eyes to me when you were born”.

She was so amused by the answer that she finished the food very fast to call daddy and let him know about my 2 invisible eyes. After many months, one day all my three kids (my son, my daughter and my husband) were eating food and I was working in the kitchen, not facing them. I started hearing some slow noises, I understood that they are having fun and food is kept aside. Without turning around, I said, “Guys, finish your food fast, otherwise we are not going out.”

My daughter immediately said, “Dad, please finish your food fast, I want to go out. You know mommy has invisible eyes, she can see everything.” 

I laughed, secretly, hearing what she said to her dad.

This repeated so many times, few times at our home, one time in some party where her friends were not eating food. She told all of them about my invisible eyes. That night, when we returned home from party, she asked me, “Mommy, Amani told me that her mom too has invisible eyes that help Aunty to take care of her kids. Does every mom have those invisible eyes?”

“Yes my child”, I replied

The last sentence that she said before going to bed that night, left me thinking, did I do right thing by giving the answer of invisible eyes.....she said, “I can’t wait to be mom.”

I guess, 4 years after that incident, now she understands, what those mommy’s invisible eyes are! She has started playing the same with her younger brother.

“Don’t mess with my Lego blocks. I can see you with my invisible eyes”, she said while studying and not even looking at him. 

But yes, her brother was for sure messing up with her Legos......

Bang Bang Shrimp in a Rocketship with Harry Potter

What a great weekend it was! Spent loads of quality time with family, that I have been missing for last few weekends since so much (sickness and holidays) was going on.

Friday started with bang. I mean Bang bang Shrimp of Bonefish Grill. Love it. Tender crispy shrimps with spicy sauce, oh, how much I missed it!

Saturday morning started off great. After the breakfast, we decided to sit and enjoy some art work. My four year old decided and immediately announced, “Mom, I am drawing rocketship”.

I added to his announcement, “I will too”.

Then I looked at my nine year old, she didn't want to join our crew. So I left her alone with what she wanted to do.

I gave paper and markers to my little one to get him started. By the time I collected material that I wanted to use for drawing, he was already done with one drawing.

To give momma company (because I was not done yet), he decided to continue drawing. So he drew not 1, not 2...but 8 spaceships. Sometimes he surprises me by exhibiting loads of patience and at other times by testing my patienceJ.

First picture in the list is the one that he drew as his first drawing of this weekend. My daughter thought this looked like grizzly bear. 

Second one is my version of rocketship. She thought this one looked amazing-wazing.

Sunday ended with Harry Potter’s 7th movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows –Part 1

As my daughter finishes reading a particular book in Harry Potter series, we watch the corresponding movie. Yesterday, she finished her last book. She was so excited. We watched the first part of the deathly hallows movie today. Can’t wait to watch the second part tomorrow. 

Really an awesome weekend - bang bang shrimp in a rocketship with Harry PotterJ. 

Couldn't sleep without writing about it......