Change could be exciting, but it brings pain as well

We have all heard of the quote over and again, “The Only Thing That Is Constant in Life Is Change”. Each and everybody of us go through change almost every day. But the everyday changes are not that significant to affect us or obvious to notice. Then there are events in life that bring significant changes like new job, marriage, kids, divorce and relocating to new place etc.

These significant changes could be very exciting but not to forget could be laced with pain as well. No pain, no gain.

Each change brings anxiety, uneasiness and awkwardness with it. Why all these things happen with change?

Because change brings fear with it; the fear that could eat you, fear that could kill you and your relationships slowly and steadily. The worst part when fear dwells in even before we get into the change. If we learn to cope up with that fear, the same change could bring the success, happiness and more fun.

So how do we cope up with the fear of change?

I feel there is no one formula to cope up with fear of change. Every person has its own way to handle it. Here is my way:

1. Make peace with the change instead of fighting with it. Believe me this is not easy to do, sometimes it happens faster than other times, but works wonders once peace is attained.
2. Breathe through the fear. When I say it, I literally mean it. When under fear, I say my prayers to distract my mind from it and it works.
3. Find the attitude booster. Think about the changes you have gone through in the past and the positive outcomes that you achieved from it.

In spite of finding and following your formula, you might still go through fear episodes, but the frequency and severity will definitely be less and the phase shall pass faster.

So poke that naughty fear aside and embrace the change. Then you will find change exciting and not painful anymore.

Bring it, it’s free…

After living in Michigan for 10 years, we recently moved to Jacksonville, FL. Since the move the first four weeks, I hardly got to go out and meet people. All I did was unpack, unpack and unpack some more. In short, in those four weeks I didn't get to interact much with people other than my family. No matter how much I love to interact with my dear hubby, it was the time to see some other faces J

So I found myself a new work assignment. I was excited to start working again and see new faces. But at my workplace, I saw a strange behavior. No one smiled.

First I thought, “I am new so people don't want to smile back at me”. Gradually as few weeks passed by and nothing changed, I started thinking, “May be this is Florida thing.” “May be people in Florida are not as welcoming as folks back in Michigan; they don't reply back your smile” But that turned out wrong too since few of them started to smile back at me.

Now my restless mind wanted to find out the real reason why these other folks  do not smile at all. I kept looking for unsaid clues. Eventually, I noticed a strange phenomenon. Most of the folks in leadership at my workplace never smile. Could that be the reason why most of my coworkers don’t smile either? May be, the leadership team passes down the scowled look to their dearest employees. And in turn...nobody smiles (well, except a few).

When I look at these leadership folks and think about they not smiling, even when you crack a joke (yes one time I cracked a joke in front of one of the leadership members and he didn’t have a slight curve on his face). I feel sad for these members.  Most of them are in their late thirties and early forties. I am sure they have tons of reasons to smile, that is if they think about it...beautiful family, kids (seen pictures in their cubicles), lucrative pay and I am sure many other perks. But, it seems like the stress of the job is taking a toll on them.

People who are under stress need a chuckle more than anybody else. Ironically, they are the ones who don’t laugh. Most of us lose that laughing kid in us with responsibilities. But we must take a time to bring that kid in us back, every once in a while. Work is never ending and so is the stress in life. We can reduce this stress by talking to people around us, by smiling at others, by having that one care free chuckle that will make you forget worries of the day.

“Is it that hard to smile?” I ask. Come on people, bring it on, it’s free…and offers loads of benefits!!

Remember Charlie Chaplin - "Smile and maybe tomorrow you'll see the sun come shining through for you."

Mom’s Invisible Eyes

It’s surprising how easily kids get amused by explanation of some things they get from adults.

Many times my kids ask me some questions for which I don’t really have answers, or in some cases I don’t want them to know the real answer that soon in their life, may be not appropriate for their age. In these kind of situation, I have noticed, most of the time unknowingly I give them funny answers. These funny answers trick them so much that their focus shifts from question (that they asked) to the answer immediately. Then they remember it forever.

Once, me and my daughter, only two of us were at home. I was cooking and my daughter was eating Chapati with curry. She was eating and watching TV. Both of our backs were facing each other’s. She was lill over 5 then. She hardly ate Chapati and curry herself (if it pizza, burger, she would eat herself without any help), on the top of that TV was on. 

Without going to her and without turning around, I just said, “Eat your food”.

She replied back instantly taking a bite, “I am”.

“I know you just took a bite now. You were not eating before.”

As soon as I said it, she came running to me, with her eyes wide open as if those eyes were very curious to know something and said to me, “Mommy, how did you know that I was not eating before? You didn't turn around to see”.

I instantly replied, “I have 2 eyes on the back side of my head, hidden in my hairs.”

“Wow, mom you are lucky to have it. Can I see it please?”

“Sweetie, nobody can see those eyes. God gave those invisible eyes to me when you were born”.

She was so amused by the answer that she finished the food very fast to call daddy and let him know about my 2 invisible eyes. After many months, one day all my three kids (my son, my daughter and my husband) were eating food and I was working in the kitchen, not facing them. I started hearing some slow noises, I understood that they are having fun and food is kept aside. Without turning around, I said, “Guys, finish your food fast, otherwise we are not going out.”

My daughter immediately said, “Dad, please finish your food fast, I want to go out. You know mommy has invisible eyes, she can see everything.” 

I laughed, secretly, hearing what she said to her dad.

This repeated so many times, few times at our home, one time in some party where her friends were not eating food. She told all of them about my invisible eyes. That night, when we returned home from party, she asked me, “Mommy, Amani told me that her mom too has invisible eyes that help Aunty to take care of her kids. Does every mom have those invisible eyes?”

“Yes my child”, I replied

The last sentence that she said before going to bed that night, left me thinking, did I do right thing by giving the answer of invisible eyes.....she said, “I can’t wait to be mom.”

I guess, 4 years after that incident, now she understands, what those mommy’s invisible eyes are! She has started playing the same with her younger brother.

“Don’t mess with my Lego blocks. I can see you with my invisible eyes”, she said while studying and not even looking at him. 

But yes, her brother was for sure messing up with her Legos......

Bang Bang Shrimp in a Rocketship with Harry Potter

What a great weekend it was! Spent loads of quality time with family, that I have been missing for last few weekends since so much (sickness and holidays) was going on.

Friday started with bang. I mean Bang bang Shrimp of Bonefish Grill. Love it. Tender crispy shrimps with spicy sauce, oh, how much I missed it!

Saturday morning started off great. After the breakfast, we decided to sit and enjoy some art work. My four year old decided and immediately announced, “Mom, I am drawing rocketship”.

I added to his announcement, “I will too”.

Then I looked at my nine year old, she didn't want to join our crew. So I left her alone with what she wanted to do.

I gave paper and markers to my little one to get him started. By the time I collected material that I wanted to use for drawing, he was already done with one drawing.

To give momma company (because I was not done yet), he decided to continue drawing. So he drew not 1, not 2...but 8 spaceships. Sometimes he surprises me by exhibiting loads of patience and at other times by testing my patienceJ.

First picture in the list is the one that he drew as his first drawing of this weekend. My daughter thought this looked like grizzly bear. 

Second one is my version of rocketship. She thought this one looked amazing-wazing.

Sunday ended with Harry Potter’s 7th movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows –Part 1

As my daughter finishes reading a particular book in Harry Potter series, we watch the corresponding movie. Yesterday, she finished her last book. She was so excited. We watched the first part of the deathly hallows movie today. Can’t wait to watch the second part tomorrow. 

Really an awesome weekend - bang bang shrimp in a rocketship with Harry PotterJ. 

Couldn't sleep without writing about it......